Colour Splash Photoshoot

Alright, I know that I just posted, but to lighten the mood a little I thought that I would do a quick post sharing some photos that I took of two of my good friends at school. I have this setting on my camera where you can select one colour and only that colour shows up in the photo. So I took Meadow and Margo and took a couple pictures. I really like them and hope to use them for a portfolio for University. Note: Click picture to enlarge.

In this one I chose the orange of Meadow's shoe lace and went down to get the shot on her leg

 I then decided that I wanted to get a macro shot, focusing on her shoe and letting her face and body blur in the background

 Ignore my shadow. But other than this I really like the shot. I got my models to look away from the camera, and selected the yellow stripes as a colour.

 This is my favorite shot of them together. I got both Margo and Meadow to look the same way and lift the rest of their body off of the wall, only their upper back touching the wall. Love love love it!

 Meadow's face is just so awesome in this picture. Plus I love the angle of the camera and the way that she is holding her arms.

 My two models were amazing! I got her to lift her arm and again not look at the camera.

 She did this one on her own. I merely captured her beauty with my camera.

 I love this one too. They look so pretty with their little flowers. I tried to get them in their hair, but the stems were too short. So we settled for this shot

 The only thing that I don't like about this picture in the fact that I can see people behind my beautiful model. Other than that I love the angle of her body.

 Yay for my beautiful and willing models, and thank-you for giving my permission to post these pictures on my blog. Love you guys, and I hope that you like them :)

Catching Up With Me

Life is really starting to catch up with me lately. Since my dad left I never really thought of the possibility of my mom dating again. It was just a foreign thing that I didn't have to worry about. But now my mom is dating another guy, and it just seems to surreal for me. I have never seen her with anyone but my dad and seeing her with this new guy just really isn't registering with me. He is a nice guy and all, much better than my actual dad, but I think things are going too quickly. He's over all the time and she's always out with him. I don't really know how to handle this whole thing. Am I supposed to welcome him with arms wide, or stand back and watch from a distance? I'm just not sure what I'm suppose to do here. He cares about us though, much more than Jason does. I'm just... well I'm lost. At a loss for words and a loss of feelings. To add on to that, my dad is sending e-mails to friends that my mom isn't all that she is cracked up to be, and that they don't know anything about her. I just don't understand how he can say stuff to that about a woman that he has known for 21 years of his life! I just don't understand him at all. My sisters seem to be really torn up about this, but it doesn't give them an excuse to go around and say the stuff that they did to my mom. They told her that she wasn't good enough for them, at least dad spent money on us, dad's the better parent, and much more. I also don't get how they can look at their mother and say stuff like that to her. They don't understand just how hard she is working to keep us afloat. She is working herself to the breaking point. She buys them things and then they just walk all over them. They don't respect the house enough to clean it up, or to even keep it clean. One of my closest friends even came over and cleaned it, and my sisters looked right at her as they dropped stuff on to the ground. The nerve of them! To top it all off, my 10 year old sister looked right at me and said, "Bitch. You are a self-centered little bitch." How dare she talk to me like that. She's swearing at only 10 years old too... no wonder why the youngest is walking around the house saying "biotch." Life just doesn't make sense to me any more.

On another note, I worked at the restaurant for 11 and a half hours on Sunday. That's a long day, and its even longer when you have to serve for the whole time without a break! I worked from 9am - 8:30pm. I have never been so tired in my life. I went home and had a bath to ease my aching muscles and ended up falling asleep in the bath. Thankfully I woke up undrowned, which is good. Would hate to go like that. Even today I'm still trying to fight off the tiredness from Sunday, yet here I am, yawning every two minutes. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed, no matter how early, I'm still tired the next morning. It is so hard to get out of bed, even harder than normal. I literally have to roll out of bed to be able to get up and get ready for school. That's one of the reasons why I keep my room so cold, because as soon as I toss off my warm blankets, I'm awake. Very wake. I also keep my room cold because I love the cold. I don't do too well with heat in the first place.

Hm... what else has happened to me? Well, besides everything with my family, not much has been going on in my life. I work, I deal with family issues (or at least try), I go to both my One Act rehearsals and the Musical rehearsals, and I hang out with friends. I feel like I hardly have any time to stop and breath, let alone have any alone time. The time I have to myself is spent on doing homework. I can't remember when I actually had a me day, or even a me moment. I have friends going through thinks and I would much rather help them then even think about myself. Maybe that's my problem, I'm too caring. But is there such think as being too caring? Am I not helping others? I just don't get it. I don't understand a lot of things. And I also find myself getting tired of playing strong, I want to be able to cry in front of my friends, let them comfort me. But its so hard, I find it very difficult to drop my mask of invisibility. My mask that says "nothing can harm me, so don't even try." Its getting heavier and heavier, and one day soon it is going to crack. Masks can only last so long before one has to build up another one. Brick walls fall too, even those that we place around in our heart. They have cracks that we don't notice, they just sit there and hope and pray that one day. someone is going to come around and notice it. Maybe then that person can work their way to our heart.

Mexican Trip

Because I am thinking about getting into photo journalism I am going to be doing a couple posts to try it out. So anyways, here we go! Note: Click pictures to enlarge

During spring break last year my family and I went on a trip to Cancun, Mexico. I went with my Nana and Papa, my Aunty Tammie, my sisters and my mom. This was the first trip that we went on as a family after my dad walked out on us. It was kinda strange not having him with us, but we were going to enjoy it anyways. It was a long flight, we had to drive to the states and get on the plane in Seattle and fly to Huston, then from Huston to Mexico. After that long on a flight I was tired and couldn't wait to get there. I did see some pretty amazing things on that plane though, I sat in the window seat and got to watch us fly over the top of mountains, and watch the sun set over the clouds.

When we got there we had to sit on another bus that took us to our hotel. Once we checked in, I was so amazed by the view and couldn't wait to see the view from out our hotel window. As soon as I walked in, this is the view I was greeted with.

I had never seen water so blue! Finally, we were in Mexico. It was the most beautiful place I had seen. It was so freaking hot though, breathing in that air was like standing in front of a fire and breathing in the smoke. I honestly felt like I was suffocating. Thankfully the hotel room was super air conditions and as long as I could sit there and look out at the water, I would survive. My grandparents had the whole trip planned out. We would have the rest of the day to settle in and sit by the water and swim in the pool. Then we had a couple of adventures planned too. First we took a boat across the ocean and to another island where we rented a couple of carts and drove around, shopping as we drove around.

 I took this out of the window out of the boat. It was a bumpy ride!

 My mom and aunty Tammie driving one of the carts

 View from the street

We weren't there for that long, and soon we got back on the boat and returned to our hotel where my sisters and I played volleyball on the beach in front of our hotel.

 Faith hitting the ball over the net

 Hailey's return

 Emily's serve

The next day trip we went on was an adventurer to Chichén Itzá. There are amazing ruins there from the Mayan culture. They were an amazing group of people with advanced looks at science and math. The main temple, called El Castillo, is set in just the right position that in the spring and fall equinox, a picture of a snake appears crawling down the side of the step pyramid. No one knows if the Mayan's did this on purpose, but the angles on the pyramid are so precise. El Castillo stands 29 meters high and is made up of platforms that are 2.3 meters tall with a 6 meter temple at the very top. Each side of the pyramid is 55.3 meters at the base and they rise at an angel of 53 degrees. Each side of the pyramid has a series of raised stairs that rise at a 45 degree angel. We were there during the Autumn equinox but we were a day late to see the snake on the pyramid. I missed such a great opportunity, but I was able to get some great pictures of it in the daylight.

There is another large place set out for the Mayan's to play Mesoamerican ballgame, or Tlatchtil. This is the biggest ball court, aptly named the Great Ball Court. If any of you have seen Road to El Dorado, it is the same game that Tulio and Miguel have to play. It is quite a fascinating game, they can use their hips, forearms, rackets, bats, or handstones to try to hit a ball into a stone ring at the top of the gaming wall. The stone ring shows a picture of two snakes biting each other's tail. The snake was used in many structures as this group of Mayan's worshiped a feathered serpent god named Kukulcan. It was also a sign of fertility.

This game held a more dangerous note, the winner of the game would be sacrificed to Kukulcan. It was a high honour to be sacrificed to the gods, which is why the winner of the game got their head chopped off. The runner up got to do the honours. After the winner is determined they take them up to a near-by temple and chop of the man's head, still in his playing gear. There are carvings along the side of the ball court depicting the event. In these carvings the mans blood bursts out in seven streams. The six on the sides turn into snakes and the middle one becomes a tree. It is said that this is because the Mayan's believed that the winners blood would flow into the ground, becoming the 'snakes of fertility' and bring new life to the lands.

 The winner's head with the blood-turned-snakes

 The second player, holding the winner's head

 The temple where they brought the winner up to

 The ring

Full view of the court

Just outside of the Great Ball Court was a stone wall full of carvings of skulls. This low wall is called the Tzompantli, and if you look closely you can see that some of the skulls are flat and straight looking. We found out that some mothers placed a contraption on baby's heads that would flatten their skull. I don't know why this was desirable, but it was.

One of my favorite buildings was the one called the Temple of a Thousand Warriors. It has a large step pyramid that is surrounded with a thousand pillars. At one point it held up a large and extensive roof system. There are three distinct sections and the pillars are in a straight line, perfectly straight.

 The Temple of a Thousand Warriors

 Pillars! Yay :)

A piece fell off! :(


After a long trek down a dirt path lead us to a limestone plain which had no rivers or streams, and was the Mayan's main water source. It was called Cenote Sagrado. Cenote Sagrado is sixty meters in diameter and has sheer cliffs that drop to the water table over twenty-seven feet below. The region has several sinkholes, called Cenotes, that expose the water table below. There was more than one, but Cenote Sagrado is the largest. Not only was it used for a water source, but used for sacrifices during a drought. There has been bones of men and children found at the bottom, as well as gold, jade, obsidian (volcanic glass), shells, wood statutes, and cloth.

 Don't fall!

Close up on the holes in the limestone.

So that is my trip to Mexico! My favorite part was seeing and hearing about the Mayan culture. I will never forget my experience there. Now, here are some random pictures of the Mexican wildlife!

 These birds were everywhere. And I mean everywhere

 A gecko lizard thingy. He didn't like me taking pictures of him

 Iguana's! These guys were everywhere too

Pelicans :)

Death by Mother Nature

You guys out there have no clue how lucky you are. At all. Men have it so easy, its the girls that have to go through all of this hogwash. For instance, when we have our periods. Its like freaking death. I was having really bad cramps today, but I went to work anyways after popping some Tylenol. It was going to be very busy, so I wasn't to excited about it. But anyways, I went anyways. Upon getting there, my cramps hit me full on to the point where I was doubling over in pain. The Tylenol was not working. I started to cry because one, I was in a crap load of pain, and two, I'm on my period so I'm emotional. Sue me. Running to the bathroom I tried to calm myself down, to no avail. I honestly thought I was going to die. Dragging myself to the staff room I sat down and cried, drinking some raspberry tea that I made. But the darn tea wasn't working either. Then I felt it, I was going to throw up. Running to the bathroom I got into the stall just in time. I told my supervisor, who is also my mom, what had happened and she told me to either suck it up, or go home. Now I was angry. I just threw up! So I looked at her and she rolled her eyes, telling me to go home. She then reminded me how busy it was going to be, and I told her that I really didn't have a choice in being sick.

Now I'm sitting at home, wrapped up in my fuzzy blanket with my laptop battery on my stomach to help with the cramps. I feel so guilty having to leave them on a day like this... but there really isn't anything I can do about it. Its still not helping me feel less guilty though. Ugh! And on top of this I don't get a turkey dinner :( Now excuse me while I go die.

Edit: I am not dead, and I have now had turkey dinner :)

Slugs, The Big Bang, and Spitz Seeds

I woke up this morning feeling much like a slug, I didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning. It probably has to do with the fact of what happened yesterday. I use to date this guy, and I thought that he was different. I thought that he was the kind of guy who would take care of me and love me. Boy was I wrong. I found out that he was lying to me about so many things. I hate lairs... When I first met him and we were doing the whole 'get to know each other' thing, I ask him if he did drugs. He said no, but that he did smoke. I'm allergic to nicotine, and I told him as much. If he was going to smoke he had to do it before we hung out or after. If it was before he had to do something so I couldn't smell it on his breath. Then he told me that he quit smoking for me. About a month later I found out that he had been lying to me about that, among other things. I found out that he also did MDMA and Cocaine without telling me anything. He also forgot to mention the fact that he was an alcoholic. At this point I was beyond mad, I had to find out from other people and not him. He did other things as well, like the fact that he never invited me to any party that he went to, not once. And when I saw him hanging out with other people, mostly girls, he never bothered to introduce me to them or them to me. At this point I was done, I had already checked out of the relationship. It was time to end it.

I met up with him and confronted him, something that I do not enjoy. When I asked him about the drugs he just flat out denied it. I remembered that he has many nosebleeds, so I asked him about that. He said it was just a problem that he had had for awhile. I was frustrated and crying, feeling hurt and angry at this boy. I told him I was done, I couldn't do this anymore. He then proceeded to try to guilt me into not breaking up with him. I shook my head, turned around and walked away. I was way over this relationship.

Once I actually was able to get up and out of bed, I shuffled downstairs, grabbed a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee before slugging my way back upstairs. Then I grabbed my fluffy blanket, settled down into my bed and put on Big Bang Theory. Ah Big Bang, how I love you so. I own seasons 1-4, and I know every episode by heart. It is one of my best friends :) So are Spitz seeds. Which I am munching on right now while drinking my amazing coffee. Ah coffee, how I love you so. I would not be able to survive without it, and I am more than slightly addicted to it.

Ugh I just realized I have to work tonight. Blehhhhhhh. Work. I mean I love my job, but not when I feel like a slug. Then after work I get to go and puppy sit for my friend. She had the cutiest puppy in the world, and I get to go over to her place after work and stay the night to watch her puppy Griff. There might be another dog named Leroy, but I'm not to sure. But no matter, puppy time is fun time!

A Little About Moi

Yes, I am new to the blogging world. All of my family blogs and I think that it is my turn. With all the crap going on in my life, I thought that it would be best to do what I always do; write. I am still in high school in my very last year, and I still have no clue what to do with my life. I love photography and I love writing, so I was thinking photo journalism. But that is not enough to get by. I love acting and theater too, but I just don't know. It is such a hard decision, and I'm starting to panic. Maybe a double major, English and theater? English and photography? English and history? Maybe I'll join Broadway. But then what if I want to settle down? Work at a restaurant for the rest of my life? Not saying that I don't love my job, because I love serving. But am I really going to do that all my life? Probably not. Jeez, life is hard.

And never mind all this business about after high school, I still have to get through grade 12. I'm balancing all of my courses, the musical, one acts, two jobs, and friends. Oh boy oh boy, looks like I have no time for myself. In fact, I don't think I ever give myself some 'me time.' Because when I'm not at school, or directing musicals or plays, or working, or with friends, I'm  dealing with everything at home. My dad walked out on my family a few months ago, and its still hard for me to think about. Now its just my mom and my three younger sisters, all living in a small little townhouse. Its hard for my mom, they were married for 16 years. As for me... I really don't know what to think. Me and my dad never really got along, our relationship was either in the pooper or simmering on the back burner. I didn't know what to do with him and I don't think he knew how to deal with me. I was never afraid for standing up for myself and speaking my mind, maybe that is when the fights started. My mom would defend me, which made him mad at her. He would stop yelling at me, but then turn around and start yelling at my mom. I would always run down into my room, bawling like a baby. And without a fail my dad would stomp after me and blame everything on me. Now I know that anyone who is reading this, if anyone ever does, is thinking that I'm over exaggerating. Well yes I did when I was younger, but I am an older girl now. I'm not kidding. I grew up thinking that my parents fights were my fault, because that is what my dad shoved into my mind. It made me feel guilty for everyone's problems, when my friends were upset I would take it upon myself to fix the problem. I know now that its not like that... but I still can't help but feeling that pang of guilt whenever there is a fight.

Now, to a non-lethal topic, I shall talk about what I enjoy. Or make a list. In fact a list seems a lot easier.
I love to read, its my main passion.
I am a video game addict, in fact I play more than most of my guy friends.
I like to cook, but I enjoy eating more.
Writing is a passion of mine, I do it whenever I can.
Acting. Not just in school on a stage, but with friends and family.
Music. I love to listen to it and sing it. The shower head is my best audience.
I love to help others. There is so much satisfaction in helping those you love.
Photography. I don't go anywhere without my camera. My Canon Powershot S90 is my baby.
I adore animals. Looking at them, holding them, petting them, training them. Anything.
Spitz seeds. Those things are my vice. I eat so many bags I'm pretty sure my blood has little bits of sunflower seeds in them.
I can't think of anything at the moment, but that might also be because its 2 in the morning. I started this post earlier and then went out for dinner, shopping, and then a movie with my mom. When we got back I went straight to my computer to finish this post. So I shall end it now before I face plant into my keyboard :)